Thursday, November 11, 2010

This Site Is Now Not Active!


This Site Is Now Not Active.

Visit My other Sites Here - As Below:-

www.newmajid.com

www.betweenusonly.com

www.alsuleimany.com

www.majidbooks.com

www.majidsuleimany.com

www.mas-trac.com

Best Wishes and Regards,

Majid Al Suleimany

November 12th 2010.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Rising Alcoholism Syndrome!


The Oman Daily Observer of Sunday June 7th 2010,

Between Us Only!

Rising Alcoholism Syndrome!




In all my writings, and in My Books, I have tried my level best to move away from writing taboo subjects – but the coming incident confirmed to write on this one – with sincere, genuine and due apologies.

I had been to this Recreation Centre when I saw a group of young Omanis come out from the Alcohol Bulk store with carts full of the stuff – from beers to the real heavy and expensive stuff – because cartons betray what they have inside them! They looked to me as recently joined Graduates to the Company.
So the mean and evil streak in me decided to play a game with them. I asked them if they could spare me a few drinks – and I was willing to pay for them. It was already coming evening Prayer time – so one of the nicer kinder sympathetic ones offered me the address because they were having a bash and celebration from what looked similar to Gonnu to strike our Omani shores!

This shocked me to smithereens – the approach to celebrate before the storm struck – instead of going into prayers and reciting our Holy books instead – like some of us in our generation would normally do.

Just for the records, being a member of that club, I too could purchase in bulk if I had wanted – but then I am not ‘developed and progressed enough’ with my sad state of affairs of being a student in UK for three years – still single at that time – and downstairs opposite lane I used to sit and watch those indulging (including pretty young girls too!) making a fool and spectacle of themselves after awhile – and too good and decent a material to bring into my column in this esteemed newspaper! But let us put it this way – I told all to the good wife before our marriage!!

Some years ago when I was travelling to UK for my Management course, the local guy beside me pressed the distress call button just as the plane was taking off from Muscat International airport (we could even see it below us) – and the poor air hostess came running to find what was wrong? Remember The Fasten Your seatbelts sign was on! The man asked for a beer! I do not know if he was afraid to fly – or maybe taking early advantage of the limited free offer of drinks on board as travelling Economy!

The Air Hostess firmly put him in his place – though he kept the button chiming! Then when the warning seat signal was off, he said give me English beer! He mentioned a brand which even dumb and stupid me in ignorance and being backwards as a teetotaller knew was a Dutch brand – and not an English one – as in my job aspects of peers trying to impress our Western bosses that they are progressed and developed! I remember even one peer who joked to me in front of our British boss – he was a Non Believer in God though – and said it when he was even sober to us! My friend peer was teasing me – M – it is time for prayers, what are you doing still waiting here? I have had suckers and yes men in my life – but as our Indian friends say – this one had the biscuit!

I have met many people I know where families are complaining to me to write about this subject – but I am always the type of person who is a Live and Let Live type of person – but to limits – when you start to encroach on me in your superiority false outlooks – and that you know better even for me – then we have issues and problems. So long as you leave me alone, I drink my carbonated and or fresh juices with those at the party enjoying themselves – but at the same time can leave the table and go for my prayers – I am that type of person per se!

A lot of families complain of smoking and alcoholism amongst some of their family members – and sadly and tragically including the teenagers and the youth too. One of the off shots of increased road accidents and fatalities is this stuff! There is also this element of domestic and family violence as a result of alcoholism, resulting in increasing divorces, family breakdowns and social disorders.

Personally I do not believe in imposing rules and regulations – Believing in Live and Let Live – and have even a blog under such a name! However, as parents and grandparents – and as elders – we do have a prime and fundamental duty to lead by examples – and advice, counsel and caution the youth to protect and preserve our heritage, customs, traditions, values and culture as a people – and the teachings and practices of our religion – and even if to be in moderation when going flexible and accommodating!

I remember this incident very well after my father had expired – and I was receiving condolences in my villa in Qurum. They wanted some juice – and unfortunately I had left only apple juice! Soon after a while, my uncle from the village came to me and started yelling and shouting to me – how could you? And my uncle in Muscat cut him short – and said you must have got your facts twisted and intertwined – because I was accused of offering beer to them! My town uncle said very emphatically and strongly – I do not know about the others, but I can guarantee on my life that this son of Late Said NEVER DRINKS the stuff!

That is confidence for you!

Incidentally Happy Birthday me! Take Care!

By Majid Said Nasser Al Suleimany

My Father's Son!






My Father’s Son!

(Or But I Told Your Mother….!)

A TRUE STORY!



Go on in and greet your Father – the boy’s mother prompted the son. It is Eid Day and it is in our customs, tradition and heritage to visit and greet parents and the elders on this auspicious day. Go on in – the Mother prompted the son again. The 12-year-old boy looked frightened and scared. He had matured too fast for a boy of his age. Life was a great teacher and learner; it makes you older and practical as it teaches you on.

The mother looked at the entrance of the newly built villa. There were almost two new European top model cars she could see as she came in with her old beat up Japanese car she had driven all the way from Muscat to the Interior hometown. She could see a lot of new shoes at the Majlis entrance, smaller sized shoes belonging surely to the younger men. They must belong to the man’s sons from the elder wife. The man was not that rich, but he had a large house and farm – and some shops too.

As the boy entered the room, he could see his elder brothers from the elder mother looking at him and whimsically whispering to themselves. They looked like poking fun and mirth at him. One was whispering at the father’s ear. The father shook his head and glared at the boy as if he did not like what was being whispered to him. The father smiled to the entering boy, he got up and urged the boy to come in. Instead of this encouraging the boy, this action of the man seemed to scare and daunt him all the more! But move to the father he did. He kissed his father’s hand in greetings. He also kissed his father’s head in finality.

The father made a signal to the boy sitting near him. Move a bit and let your younger brother sit here. The boy moved reluctantly, he did not want to move from the favourite position and to let especially the new son in the family take his place. But he had to abide to his father’s wish and he did not want to be blamed as the one who had started and had made a scene. After all, this was Eid day – and a day for happiness, festivities and celebrating occasion.

So tell me – the father asked. Did you come alone? Who came with you? Did you come with your mother? Is she waiting outside – the man was answering his own questions. A tray of sweets and halwa was brought in front of the boy. He wanted to scream – but I have not had yet breakfast father! How do you expect me to eat halwa before having breakfast? He kept it all in – he too did not want to create a scene. Besides, perhaps this was the custom in the interior, and not in Muscat.

He did not want the rest of hem to jest and mock him and his mother again – especially the mother just because her Arabic was not good having been born in Zanzibar. I am going to show them the boy had made an early promise to himself. I will speak very good Arabic and impress my father too. At least I speak very good English and some French too – compared to my elder brothers and sisters from my elder mother. When he used to say this to his mother, he used to make her cry uncontrollably and profusely – he still did not know why. All he wanted was to assure her, and hold her head high and let no one – even if it was the family, she got married to – humble her and bring her down and depress her again.

The father felt what the boy was feeling. So smiling all he could, he whispered to the boy. Did you have breakfast? The son nodded negatively. The man bellowed out – What is this? Bring breakfast for my son. No sweets and halwa till later on! The other boys looked at themselves in bewilderment at the stress of the word my son. Are we not his sons too – they asked themselves?

The visiting boy started to feel now comfortable with his father. He remembered what his father had told him – I want you to adhere and respect me – not to be scared and be afraid of me. I want you to treat me as a friend, you can talk to and tell me if there is anything that scares and worries you. OK – do we have an understanding and agreement here Son? Promise me – will you?. You must let no one make you scared, afraid or feel small. Remember you are the son of who? OK, son? Let no one ask or use you to ask favours from me. They will try to befriend you for their own selfish reasons and interests. But remember you are my son always!

The boy wants to remind the father of the promise to him by the old man. But he looked around him. All his brothers and cousins were well dressed in their new dishdashas and msaars (turbans). He remembered seeing all those new shoes outside. His mother was dressing him in that old dishdasha. It was the newest of the old lot. He told his mother – Mother do not cry. One day I will grow up and find a good job. I will look after you mother – I promise. Instead of assuring the mother, this made her cry all the more.

And I will show daddy for ignoring and forgetting about us. I will show him, Mother. I will work hard, save and have lots of money. I promise you. But I will never forget or forgive what dad had done and not remembered us – even on this Eid day. Mother, I promise. He did not give you money to buy any new clothes – even for Eid!

No, no the mother persisted. Sometimes I too do not understand your father. He is a very good man. After all, he is my first cousin too. Our great grandfather is the same man from Manah in Nizwa region. You must not blame your father. He is a very good, kind gentle man – but he listens to the wrong people who advise him wrongly. That is his problem. Otherwise, there is or there should be no problems between us – I assure you son.

The breakfast had brought him back his spirits and courage. So he asked the father, father tell me. You know my mother only works in the oil company as a clerk. She has also to pay rent, put food on the table and do so many things. You know father, no? Then how come – the boy had finally the courage to ask – you did not give us any money for Eid – but you did for my elder brothers and sisters? Don’t we also deserve your care and attention – me, my younger sister and my mother?

You see dad, the boy finally let it out – my mother could not even afford to buy me a new dishdasha. She does not have the money to do so. Are we not your family too? Why only them, and not us too? But I told your mother to buy you a new dishdasha, the father insisted lamely – I told her. I am surprised that she did not. After all, she can afford it – she is working in a good paying job in that oil old company. I have to look after your other brothers and sisters – their mother is not working like your mother.

The boy looked again at the father. The urge to get out and make a scene was getting stronger by the minute. He wanted to shout out – Do you know how much money my Mother earns? I will take my mother from here and you will not see us again. He then remembered and reconciled to himself – he was still 12 and he could not drive back to Muscat. Besides, even if he had urged and persuaded his mother she will not listen to him. That is how she had ended up as the doormat to his father. And his father knew too – and there is nothing he could do about it. At least for now for sure.


As if reading his mind, the father was giving a queer strange look at the son. He the son said nothing more to the father. The father said nothing to the boy. It seemed a hidden communication and telepathy had set in. Not to say anything more to each other. His elder brother from the elder Mother touched his old dishdasha - teased him – your Mother saving again for her folks in Africa? Again what happened last time. Till the next time that is – till next Eid again!. He looked forward for the day to end, so he could return with his Mother to Muscat.

Are You Our Mother?


Are You Our Mother?



The door bell rang continuously and incessantly. Trust these things to happen always to you in more than one of the ten cases, as soon as you enter the shower or bath the bell would ring! These are one of the unexplainable things in life, it never rings before you get into the bath or shower, nor soon after you have finished! The person who was ringing the bell must be desperate, or he or she just wanted to make a nuisance of oneself. Some have this bad nasty habit – they will keep the bell pressed till the door is opened or they will let the phone ring on and on till someone answers it. It is okay if it is at home, but at the office too?

Tried to ignore it or let it ring, so what! Ring! Ring! Simply she had to get out of the shower and open the door. She was about to give the person outside ‘a piece of her mind’ when she saw who was ringing the bell – and that made her winch with shame and guilt. The girl was hardly twelve, but she looked tired, worn out and much older. Life’s experiences and troubles makes one mature fast – and get older quicker too in the process. She was clutching the hand of what looked like her younger brother – hardly five or six himself.

The girl was very polite. I am sorry to take you out of your bath – but we are new here. We come from the village from the Interior. We are afraid we may have got lost. Our mother is waiting in the car with our uncle some blocks from here – and we had to cross the street to come here. I am sorry – the girl apologised again. Looked sad and distraught with her sad big innocent almost crying eyes. All the time she was holding tight the hand of his brother – as if he would run away and play truant – and put her in great trouble with her mother.

So what can I do for you? - The wet dripping woman in her big white towel asked. I am sorry – the girl said again – she was trying her best to be understood in her broken poor English. Do you speak Arabic – the girl finally implored the woman. The woman looked young – she must be in her early thirties. Looked like the age of her eldest sister or like her young aunty. No, our mother told us not to get into the house. Can you get our father for us? No, I do not speak Arabic – I come from a non-Arabic speaking country. Sorry! But I understand you – go ahead- the woman calmly said.

Your father? - The woman quizzed, puzzled and confused. Your father? She repeated herself the question. Are you sure you came to the right house, my dears? With the word dears, the girl started to cry! The young brother consoled and comforted. Do not cry sister, lets be brave and courageous, sis! I do not understand – the woman implored – what is this all about, and why are you poor girl crying? Tell me dear – why are you crying? What is wrong?

Are you my new mother? - The girl finally had the courage to ask. Are you my new mother? Is our father here? And who is your father? - The woman asked the girl. My father is *RAR – he is our father! We want to see our father – we want to talk to him and ask him some questions. We want him to answer us! It is a family thing – we want to talk and ask questions to our father – please!

Your father is * RAR? How is that possible? He told me he did not have any young children. Are you sure RAR is your father? You are not trying to hoodwink me with your scam? The girl cried again – this time loudly and profusely. There, there, the woman comforted her – please, please do not cry! You are also making me cry, see? And the woman was crying with the girl together. She could not control herself – the shock, the anguish and the pain – all of a sudden too - that was too much. She did not want to hurt anyone – especially these poor innocent young children at her door. She had never wanted or dreamed to become in her life as a second wife. Her fears were now haunting her!

Our father – the boy was now speaking – finally. He had left us at home in the village. He does not come home in the weekend any more; he spends all his time in the town now with you. Are you our new mother? Yes – the woman said – but I did not know your father had young children. He told me that all his children were grown up and had left the cuckoo’s nest. Our father does not look after us anymore – he does not like us anymore. Do we have another small baby brother or sister? You know mother – the boy calmly said – we have not even food in the house. Our mother is sick, and cannot work. Only our aunties and uncles are looking after us – but our mother is proud, she wants dad to be responsible for us. Not others!

No, I have no baby – the woman responded. And I do not think I ever will with him anyway – with the way he has treated you. No way! I am returning home – this man tells too many lies. I am sorry – please forgive me. No, no – it is not your fault – both the children said together. It is not your fault. It is our father who is at wrong – not you. We do not mind him marrying you – but why has he forgotten us completely? Why? Did we do anything wrong?

What is this? - The man said as he entered the house – who brought you here? The children were drinking hot milk with some cakes and biscuits. They looked hungry – as if they have not had some food for quite some time. Hello Dear – the man said to the wife – Do not dear me! - The woman was shouting and screaming at the top of her voice – you always tell lies and fibs RAR. You are never to be trusted! You always let down peoples! I want nothing more to do with you now! Please get me my ticket – I am going home! I want my divorce – the woman screamed and threw things around at the place and at the direction of the man. You always have lied to me – the woman screamed again at the top of her voice.

See what you have done – the father reprimanded the children. Your mother is at the bottom of this again! She never wants me to be happy; I deserve some happiness in my life, at least now. The children were cowering – their own mother never did these things to their father ever before. And they had never seen their father ever so angry before! He looked so distant and sad – tired and worn out.

The bell rang again incessantly. Nobody bothered. The boy got some courage and got up to open the door, with all the going-on around the place. It was his mother and uncle at the door!! They were tired waiting outside. As the boy had feared, a bigger scene was now coming into the place!

All Hell was going to be let loose now!

The Secret Marriage!


THE NEW WIFE!

Or

The Marriage In Secret!

A TRUE STORY!!!




He was reading this newspaper, when this angelic voice he used to remember called him up.

Only angels do not cry on the phone. It was the lady she knew calling him to tell him that after a rancorous and bitter feud, her husband had declared that he was divorcing her and that she was no longer his wife. She cried to him – what can I do? To be divorced at this age? And the children too, especially the one who was very close to the father. She stopped eating, and her grades in school were falling down badly. She had suddenly developed a nasty and mean streak and a very bad and furious temper too. To make it worse, the poor girl was blaming the Mother for the break up. You never paid attention or care to dad, most of the time he would be alone in the TV room watching news and documentaries, whilst the rest of us looked at the soap operas, and without a care or feeling for him.

When he returned from Office, only I ran to say hello to him and welcome him home, the rest of you were glued to the so-called-live-shows showing men and women living together in quarters, and how they behaved to each other. Sad too that it were all home peoples and the show was being shown live to millions in the region. If a curt response to his greeting as he entered the hose being made by the rest of you, then he was lucky. It was always the housemaid who made the food for him, and made it warm when he came in. Including that tea he usually liked after his meals.

Mum, the girl added, even if you were making tea, you never asked him if he wanted some too, and when he asked for some, you told the house maid to do it for him, why not you. The worst part was when we came to the house with ordered food from outside, and not only we did not ask him what he wanted, but ate in front of him the food as if he did not exist. It was only him and the housemaid who ate the home cooked food, whilst the rest of us plunged ourselves in different dishes day by day ordered outside, and when he asked – what about me? What did you reply? All that food in the house and you want to order outside too? Who will eat the cooked food then (you of course and your house maid)? Was not that sending him away into another woman’s arms (and hugs!), by what you did to him, Mummy? Eh, Mummy? Child – shut up – the mother reprimanded. Still that was no excuse for him to go off and marry that young lass, just the age of his eldest daughter.

Is he not ashamed of himself? What does he think he is doing? Has he suddenly become that young and virile again for new adventures? Mum, the girl protested, that is my dad you are talking about, and you are embarrassing us. See the Mother said, there was no excuse for what he did, and he marrying in secret. It was only I was looking for the copy of the car registration, and I found the car closet closed. When I took his car keys and opened it, I got the biggest shock of my life to see the marriage certificate (of his marriage in secret to the young lass) and can you believe your uncle was a witness, and he said nothing. And all these things happened six months ago?

I had seen the secret wedded wife, and she looked pregnant and with a wedding finger in her hand. When I asked her who she got married to, now I understand now how she had changed all the colours of the rainbow – just replying Aunty you would not recognize him, even if I told you who he was! And calling me Aunty too – the cheek and audacity of it all.

The young wedded in secret girl recalled what his father from the Interior had told her – Daughter, you are going to start a new job now in the city after your graduation from the University. You seem too much excited about your new boss, and you say that he is the best gentleman you have ever met, nice and friendly and very helpful. Daughter, you worry me – dad says. I think you are getting infatuated with this new boss of yours. Come on – the daughter protested – be serious. He is just your age, what do you take me for? Anyway daughter, the father cuts in, if he is interested in you and you in him, then I give my blessings to wed in secret, it is damage control and better this way, then to have illicit and not legal affairs with him. All I ask is to see the official wedding certificate, which is all I ask. The dowry is not important, nor are the celebrations, and the fewer peoples know about it, the better for all.

It was too months ago before the divorce, when ‘the friend and confidante’ had told her that ‘hubby had married in secret’ and the lass was a village girl working in his place, and that is the reason he had left the place, because wife and hubby working in one place was not on, especially he who was supposed to monitor the rules, regulations and policies of the place. It had started with simple small SMS messages and the last one before things ‘got hot’ was she said – Sir, I am looking forward to work under you. You are the best boss in the world, a First Class gentleman and I am very happy to have met and known you. So he teased her back. She teases back. Teases became serious stuff. Soon they were meeting in secret, and he telling her how unhappy he was with ‘my wife and life’.

Then he suddenly went cold. He felt guilty that he was cheating on his wife and family, though all he did was just a few small pecks and holding hands. That cannot be cheating, the voice inside him said, just holding hands – be serious man! The girl had cried, why are turning away from me, you are breaking my hurt. What have I done wrong, please tell me so I can correct myself, and please tell me. PLEASE.

You are too young to understand. A few years from now you will be tired of ‘this fancy toy’ and look for something better to toy around with. No, she protested, I do not care. I love you (that is it, the word and others to follow soon came out. I love you. I am ready to be yours for ever, but please keep it secret between us two only. A week later the marriage took place. Far months later, the divorce also took place.

The first wife insisted either her or me – you cannot have it both ways. You cannot have your cake, and eat it too. You must choose between us. Remember your children? Yes, he replied, but she is 6 months pregnant already, and with my child. How do you know it is your wife? Can you still do it? I do not think. That was the last straw. The straw that broke the camel’s back. The words that came out he never thought he will ever say, but he uttered them just the same.

He had made his choice, even if it was forced on him!

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Why This Site?

Why This Site?

This article was written in My Column - Between Us Only! of June 18th 2003 - 7 years ago! Also is in My Books - Between Us Only Series (Original, Short Takes and The Sequel)....

Please visit www.majidbooks.com for more information and details.

The reason I put up this blog is to ask this question - have things changed? For the good or worse off?

We need to deep self analyse and soul search ourselves more ....


Take Care - and look after your marriage .... and your Family....

Hurtful, Cruel & Mean Words!

Hurtful, Cruel & Mean Words!

(ORIGINAL)

There is nothing wrong in expressing yourself, so long as it is focused, objective and constructive – rather than being deadly, abusive and destructive. Or using foul (4 letter words!), ugly, acrimonious and ‘venom hatred filled’ punches and counter-punches. When some families fight, the whole street would know!

So it seemed a marriage created and with final touches from the good heaven itself, until that is the wife decided to walk away from that marriage and asked for her divorce saying – “I hate that man! I simply cannot stand the sight of him; he is all artificial and not real. No words of exchange in 12 years? How is it to be possible, natural and possible”?


***

There is no married life without bliss, quarrels and fights. It is not only in such relationships, but also between friends, family and relatives for that matter too. Sometimes even high up the pedestals between communities and nations too. It may take years and years of toil, hardship. Forbearance and creation to build very solid and formidable relationships – but only a few seconds in hurtful, vengeful and painful words to destroy that.

Most important is - do not let your brain tell your mouth what to speak, and then you speak it! Once said it cannot be taken back. Do you know that the most hurtful and painful things one can say against another are between peoples who are supposed to be very near and close to you? Think for a moment – who knows you best? Isn’t that your own spouse, best friend or relative – the closer the more worse? Outsiders don’t know you that close. Outside peoples always see an angel and nice things only in you – ‘butter would not melt in your mouth type’! Only those close or near you know you better, for the real and mantle you! Heard the phrase – familiarity breeds contempt?

One person it is said had asked our Great Prophet (PBUH) – Oh Great Prophet, what should I do to have peoples respect and esteem me a lot? He was told – do not ask anything (favours) from anyone! Do you notice what is the difference between us and God (whichever denomination). The more you ask from man, the more you lose respect, like and esteem. With God it is different, the more you ask of God – the more He likes it that man is asking from Him. True too, isn’t it dear Reader?

When I was a younger man, I know of one couple that was married for more than 12 years. There was not even one word said in anger fury or disappointment between them. The man admitted he was very happy with his wife, the wife with her husband. So it seemed a marriage created and with final touches from the good heaven itself, until that is the wife decided to walk away from that marriage and asked for her divorce saying – “I hate that man! I simply cannot stand the sight of him; he is all artificial and not real. No words of exchange in 12 years? How is it to be natural and possible”. It seemed she needed to express herself a bit now and then, but was denied the chance and opportunity by the ‘hen pecked doting’ husband!

There is nothing wrong in expressing yourself, so long as it is focused, objective and constructive – rather than being deadly, abusive and destructive. Or using foul (4 letter words!), ugly, acrimonious and ‘venom hatred filled’ punches and counter-punches. When some families fight, the whole street would know!

Sometimes when things get out of control, they end up in divorce. On the subject, I asked a Muslim Scholar friend of mine. I said – K, please tell me this, or clarify it for me! Why is it in our Religion that the man can divorce his wife that easily, but for the wife she has to request to be divorced, and the husband has to agree.

If he does not agree, than there have to be others to be involved. But none are required if he decided Instead?). The good man replied – because women are known for their temperaments, their ups and downs (related to their genes and body). The good man then asked me – don’t you think, if they were allowed to do so, that most men would have been divorced, some several times too? I could not find any reason to argue with him. Besides, you certainly do not argue these delicate sensitive things in Religion.

With the latest technologies and innovation, it is not only speaking but even writings too. Simply do not answer an E-Mail when you are angry and furious, however infuriating, disappointing and annoying one is received by you from anyone, especially job related at work. E-Mails are simply like spoken words, once you have spoken them, it is too late to take them back. They have gone to the ears of that other person!

Nowadays if I am annoyed by an E-Mail, I take time to cool down. If I must reply, I reply it – first I make SURE that I will not send it. I may type my angry retort, and then be SURE to delete it!. Or I write my response in another place, and then destroy that paper. Try it – actually it will make you relieved, and give you time for a more reasoned approach! The old days of being quick to the button retorts had put me in a lot of troubles – it is best avoided. Do not forget and can be said against you – you are a Professional, supposed to serve and to know better too!.

So next time you fight with your hubby, or he has annoyed you, do not let what you really think of him go into your head, and tell him exactly what you think of him. That goes to you too man to wife, or to friend, or anyone else for that matter. Can you believe that these kind of words have been heard to be uttered between peoples supposed to be one, let alone between enemies or adversaries (compiled from various sources!):-

• Sometimes you behave like a prostitute, the way you are after money (things)!
• I have always suspected you to be a gay (homosexual, lesbian, crook, thief etc) person!
• I saw your ex fiancĂ©e (supposed to get married to) today with his new find, how long before he dumps her like he did to you?
• From day one, you had never been committed to this marriage (or had ever liked me).
• I should have NEVER married you or even let our paths cross.
• I wish I was dead, so I was free from you.
• My father is right, he knew you to be what you really are, the good man.
• Why did I ever get married to such a poor loafer like you?
• You are very stingy and misery with our family, but not with your Mother etc..
• Everyone is invited to the party but not you. Nobody likes even to see your ugly face now.
• You never take me out till I force you, and that has to be after a BIG fight too.
• Act and behave like a real he-man (not like a lady).
• What is the difference between you and your Mother – you are both cheap easy going stuff – like Mother like daughter.
• Like Father Like son, you are both number one crooks and not to be trusted.
• You are a great actress, as if butter will not melt on your mouth.
• If I had married XYZ, where would I be today!
• Your mother (or father, brother, sister etc) again wants favours from me!
• Your drunkard alcoholic uncle (or whatever) took some more money from me today to buy more drinks, drugs etc. He wanted 20 Rials, I gave him 5 only.
• The children are crazy etc. because they take it from you and your family side.
• Your parents (or children) think you are an angel, they do not know about ….. (Secret only you two know)!
• There again your Freeloader relative has come to the house uninvited!
• Who invited them for dinner, they just drop in like it is a Free Soup Serving Place!
• Next time your relatives break (spoil) anything, I shall ask them to pay!
• No, I have a headache (just do not want or feel like it).
• Worse still – I shall find it outside, if you keep saying No!
• Your mouth (or body) smells awful.
• I don’t have any money (why should I help you?)
• Your family is coming for dinner, you better take them out (or order) dinner. I am not cooking anything for them, they always find faults in my cooking (never appreciate).
• My first (wife or husband) was a real person (man), not like you …!
• Worse still – I do not like the way you are doing this to me …! (It does give a connotation of comparing!)
• One of these days I shall pack my bags and just disappear (or something else that you will do)!
• Why don’t you drop dead, so at least there is peace in the house.
• Go and -the F word – yourself.
• For heavens sake do not involve the children in this!
• I feel like leaving this marriage now for good, I am really tired – cannot take this anymore!
• So many other hurtful, painful words once said cannot be withdrawn! Sow so shall you reap, it has been said so many times – but who listens? Or what goes around, comes around – for that matter too!

So next time you have a fight, do not let that evilness and ugliness that is within us all tell you or dictate you what to say. Or don’t open your mouth and say what you are thinking – for Heavens sake! Once said it cannot be taken back or be withdrawn. The Americans and Brits say count to 10 first. I say count to 20 at least!

……. End ……